I have reached a point in my life where I no longer feel a need to talk about my personal life on the Internet other than funny little stories, both because from there very start people would misinterpret what I was getting at which made it feel kinda pointless, and also because I'm now more calm and at ease with myself.

But one thing I have never shared with you is why I joke about things. Obviously humor is very important to me, but I'm rarely completely honest about why I think some serious subjects are okay to joke about.
I deal with my own traumas that way.

I'm very much a Chandler ("Friends"). I don't do deep emotional moments. I make silly comics to get it out, and they are my equivalent of "You don't have to comment, just listen" and "It's okay, you don't have to feel awkward about this with me just because I've been through shit. We can joke about it"

Of course I've been an idiot, because how are people supposed to know it when I don't want to talk about it to random people on the Internet? And I don't know how many people use comedy to deal with their traumas, but to those who don't, comedy just looks like a way of demeaning serious things they feel should not be joked about. And for that I'm sorry. I've said it many times, I never mean to hurt anyone. I've just been dealing with my own things in my own way, such as illness, abuse and self harm, and made the mistake of not thinking about how that would come off to people.

On a lighter note, I also joke about things I like. If I watch a whole movie with you at home and didn't say a word, I most likely didn't like it. The more I talk and the more I joke, the better. That of course makes me a less than ideal movie buddy for some people, but luckily I've found people who do the same and all is good.

This is why I joke about queer people. For a very long time I thought I was bisexual because i had gotten it into my head that straights were closed minded, and I dated a woman for six month. But I had to face that as much as I loved her I had never been attracted to her, which was very different from what I felt when I was in love with a man. (And like last time I said this I know some of you think the body shouldn't matter and not understand why you can't date someone just because you don't want sex with them. All I can say is that sex is important to me in a relationship and that's that)

But that doesn't mean I don't have very fond memories from that time. I loved her and the people I met "at the gay scene" and all jokes are my love declaration to them. Especially to the dykes out there. You ladies have a special place in my heart *gang sign*

And for most of my childhood and teenage years I was very gender queer if not straight up trans because of my PCOS, which is an illness that cause the female body to produce too much male hormones. That meant a very male body and mind, and I didn't just want to be a boy, I felt like a was already a boy. Then I started the treatment for my PCOS and suddenly I woke up one day thinking "When did I stop feeling like a guy?" and has since learned that's what often happens to PCOS patients.
And as always I have to stress that is not to say trans people are sick. Just that PCOS has this odd side effect.
I even met a group that called themselves "PCOS trans" because they knew they were different from other trans people in that they could be "cured" but for their own reasons didn't want to.
I never knew about any of that, just that I was suddenly very unhappy with my very masculine self, but decided that I wanted the PCOS gone (diabetes and heart problems kinda sucks) and pushed through.

So yeah, I've tried to joke about that too like I do with gay people, and while I recognize what trans people are talking about when they're telling about their feelings of being in the wrong body and people treating them in ways that somehow feel wrong, I now realize that this is too sensitive a subject for most trans people and that I should back off.
But I still have fond memories of little boy me, and I can't help but think "I'm feeling ya' sistha/brutha" at trans people, though if I tried to high five them they would probably leave me hanging.

And that is why I joke. It is never ever to hurt. Just me attempt to deal with my own traumas or express my love of something.
For example, I don't joke about pedophilia because while I have friends and family who's been thought it, I haven't and I don't feel like I understand it at all.

So I'm sorry I haven't truly been honest with you guys about my reasons for acting like I do, and I'm sorry for having hurt the people I did.

And I'm sorry for the people I will hurt in the future because it will undoubtedly happen because of my way of dealing with my shit, but I will do my best not to, because I don't get a kick out of hurting others.

I've been through a lot of self hate and said some stupid shit, but I'm close to 30 years old and had a lot of time to reflect on my life so far lately, and this is where I am now. I don't need people to feel sorry for me and tell me I'm good enough the way I am. I just wanted to give an apology for past mistakes and let you know that I'm not out to get you.

So, London Expo is coming up yet again, and I'm so exited.

And I apoligize in advance if I'm not there during one or more days. I have some pretty serious Real Life Problems at the moment that are out of my control, so if they give me an appointment during the convention I have to go.

But if all goes well, I'll be looking forward to meeting you happy convention goers again, and hopefully some new faces too.

People keep asking about Love and Tentacles, but I'm sorry to say that comic is as good as dead. I might draw a picture once in a while because Frida can be fun to draw, but I don't even think about LaT most of the time, unlike my other comics which enter my head daily.

But people are apparently dying to know if Tom and Frida ever had kids, and if it could even be done. So I'll give you and explanation on that.

Tentaculas have reproductive tentacles around their waist (the thin pink ones that gets thick when they get aroused). Males and females rub them against each other  and release semen and eggs into water (in these modern times its usually a bathtub unless they're hippies). They are left to float around until the fertilized eggs hatch and the tiny young eats the un-fertilized eggs. Then they move on to swallowing each other, until only one is left. Sounds unpleasant, but that is why tentaculas in general are very healthy and handicaps are almost unheard of unless they get injured later in life. And of course it creeps Tom out that Frida ate her siblings at birth.

By some kind of movie magic humans and tentaculas can have children together, and Tom and Frida have a very tentacula-like child because otherwise it wouldn't be able to survive the whole process required for tentacula eggs to be fertilized in water, or live in water for months before starting a life on land.

People have asked why I delete old journals, and some seem to think it's because I try to hide something, but it's really just because my journals are always very "in the moment", something I'm thinking about at that very moment and want to see what others have to say about it. Then I read people's comments and either change my mind or think my point has been proven, and the next day I've moved on and no longer care.

Unfortunately new people keep seeing the journal entry and keep commenting on it, and because you can't block comments on journals it just becomes an annoying filler in my inbox.
Or people will find very old journal entries were I say things I've changed my mind about long ago and talk about it as if I'm still thinking like that.

So after letting people have their little fights and such for a week or more I delete the journal and move on.
I know some people think it's annoying because they were having a good discussion, but strictly speaking my journal is not a forum so I can only suggest you remember the name of the person you were talking to and contact them if you want to continue the debate.

Does anyone know the title of an old anime about a boy with a magic green thumb that could make flowers grow anywhere? I watched it a lot as a child but all I really remember from it is that he has a pony, and that after his mentor, an old gartner, dies the boy creates a huge plant and crawls into heaven to find him.

Because the Americans made fewer cartoons when I was a child, Danish TV showed a lot more cartoons from other countries, like Russia, China, and Japan, and a lot of them I haven't seen since. I was overjoyed when Studio Ghibli became popular in the west because it meant I could finally see "My Neighbor Totoro" again.

Once you start reading this, you cannot turn back.
Well you could, but would you reeeeeeeeally want to do it?
KEEP ON READING OR YOUR EYES WILL IMPLODE.

One day, *humon was surfing the internet.
She was just looking at her favorite pages when all of a sudden a new tab opened up.
She was confused, since she didn't click on any link whatsoever. The tab didn't show anything, just a white screen. When she tried to close the tab, nothing happened. She kept pressing the X to close it, but instead the tab turned to full size. Suddenly, the white screen of the tab turned completely black.
It wasn't only the tab screen that turned black, all the button and everything else on her screen did the same.
Even her mouse disappeared off the screen.
After a little while, she decided to turn her computer off because she simply thought it was broken.
This was a fatal mistake.

Out of nowhere, a full screen picture of appeared on the black screen.
It was most unexpected.

As she looked at it, she could see zee captain's delicious smile.
The longer she stared at it, the more frightening the picture became.
The speakers of her computer suddenly started playing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" song.

*humon covered her ears, but it didn't help at all.
She tried to leave her room, but the song followed her everywhere, repeating over and over.
The people of London, their heads covered in bowler hats and monocles looked at her with somber eyes of dissaproval.
It was most misfortunate.


Share this tale of interest with at least 76 people or you shall suffer the same fate of doom as *humon did.




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Cheers,

(trolling the merrily humon as she left her computah in my posessions, and left to purchase coconuts or other items of interest in local London establishment in preparation for MCM London)

Here is the description that got too long for Victorian Line-up [link]

Peter is in this version a Swedish priest who is grossly abusing his position and people’s faith in him. Because he is Swedish he is eyed with some suspicion by a lot of the Danes, because Sweden and Denmark are still mortal enemy at this point (yet is wasn’t unusual to see Danes fighting for Sweden and Swedes fighting for Denmark). Sure he claims to have switched sides, but the most paranoid people suspect him of being a spy. An evil rumour has it that Peter got chased out of Sweden by the population who had gotten tired of him, but his reputation followed him to Denmark, so he jumped on the first boat to the Danish-Westindian Islands before it spread too much.

The Norwegian Kristian is supposed to inherit his father’s plantation, but everybody can see that it would never work. Either he would waste the money away, or he wouldn’t discipline the slaves properly and a slave rebellion might arise (the islands had experienced a few violent rebellions where most of the city was burned down). His father found another solution: Marry him off to Ingrid. Her family isn’t as wealthy as theirs, but they are well respected and her brother is know for his good judgment. He can then inherit the plantations, and that way it can at least sort of stay in the family. Kristian has no interest in marrying Ingrid though, and much prefer riding around the island on his horse or talk with shady people in the town.

Niels is not a crime lord in this version, but a lowly hitman and swindler. He tries his best to get friends in all social layers, his biggest achievement being Kristian. Kristian is up for pretty much anything as long as it will be fun, so Niels doesn’t really have trouble getting Kristian to do him favours. That is also why he started a romantic friendship with him, because it was the closest people could come to be blood-brothers in high social layers at the time. This way Kristian will both find him entertaining and be less likely to suddenly turn his back on Niels.

Ingrid is trying her best to tame Kristian, but is getting really f***ing tired of him (he even steals from her!), so when her eyes fall on Duncan she is intrigued. She has never seen a free black man before, and there’s something awfully exiting about that. She starts to secretly flirt with him, putting Duncan in a very difficult situation.

Duncan has come to realise that life as a free black man is more difficult that it was as a slave. When he was a slave his owner at least had an interest in keeping him alive, but now people are only interested in his workforce, and couldn’t care less if he got hurt. Therefore he is given even harder and more dangerous jobs than before, which is why he decided to join forces with Niels.
When Ingrid starts flirting with him, he is put in an awful situation. He doesn’t want to cheat on Natalie, but if he turns Ingrid down blankly, she might report him to the police for a crime he didn’t commit, and the police wouldn’t even think twice about throwing him in jail.

Natalie also had to face that when you’re black, freedom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, though she doesn’t regret it either. She patch up and repair clothes for people and gets paid much less than other women doing the same work. Therefore she occasionally help Niels and Duncan do their hitjobs.
She’s not happy with Ingrid hitting on her man, but she too is worried about her and Duncan’s safety if she gets too aggressive towards Ingrid, so the best she can do is try and keep them apart or only let them meet in public places.

Kiddo (Elliot) is a strange child. To really get by on the Danish-Westindian Islands you should be able to speak at least three languages: Danish, Dutch and English. Kiddo speaks all three and always at the same time. He can without problem use them in one sentence, and for some strange reason he will occasionally say “yes” in French. He is of course fluent in NegroDutch, a now dead language that was spoken by the slaves (Obviously Duncan and Natalie speak this, along with English and a bit of Danish).

Agent 300 is known as Jim Scotsman in this version. He got the name because he is the only Scotsman in the police, and has even started signing papers with this name.
Niels always wanted a friend from the police and tried his luck with Thomas for a long time. Finally he had to give up. Thomas was just too honest. Things are however going much better with Scotsman. He is rather corrupt, enjoys bribing (which allows him to wear unusual nice clothes for a policeman) and a brothel downtown is allowed to stay open because can go there for free. Rumour has it that he is even joint owner of the place.
But Niels has found his way around him. He has figured out Scotsman hidden desires and is greatly using and exploring them to make Scotsman more cooperative.

Thomas is Scotsman’s work partner. He is Dutch in this version, but otherwise his story is the same. His wife died a few days after giving birth, and he is now terrified of either loosing his daughter, Wendy (unlikely name, yes) or dieing himself, leaving her behind. He lives alone with her, renting a room in Caron’s house.

Caron is a widow and is renting out a room to Thomas to survive. When Thomas isn’t home she looks after his daughter, and Windy has accidentally called her mother a few times. Caron is also his best provider of gossip, mainly because he doesn’t get out much himself. Caron didn’t know Thomas before his wife died, and has trouble believing the stories about him.

For the first few years of her life, Wendy thought Caron was her mother. She actually prefers to be looked after by Caron because her father won’t let her out much. Has befriended a stray cat and named it Mimi.

Here's a wonderful little online game [link]

The point of it, is to help stuffed toys with their psychological problems. It sounds stupid, but it's really interesting and you can't help but feel sorry for the poor toys.