Now that the holidays are upon us and the new year is just around the corner, allow me to give you a little positive life advise.
Take a chance.
I know, it's such a lame advise you hear all the time, but it's only recently I realized that's what happened to me. I used to have such a shitty lonely life because I always said no to everything because I was afraid of people. The few times I said yes and went to parties I was uncomfortable and always ended up leaving early.
Then I was offered to be a guest at a convention and I was very close to turning that down too. Just the thought of either sitting at a table and nobody caring or too many people caring and flooding me was terrifying.
I ended up saying yes, and when I got there it turned out to be the second scenario. I was sitting in a ridiculously hot room over an indoor swimming pool and a wall of faces and arms around me asking for autographs, wanting hugs, taking photos, and all talking to me at once. Any of those people can confirm that I was terrified. I was shaking so hard I couldn't write my own signature, even my voice was shaking, and I had a lump in my throat like I was about to cry. The next day I was so frightened by the first experience I showed up very late. This meant things were a lot quieter and I actually had a chance to talk properly with a few people.
That was when things turned around for me. I was afraid and didn't expect to click with the sort of people who went to conventions just like I had never clicked with the people who went to parties when I was younger. But I did and I went to a lot of conventions after that.
Things got weird and crazy for some time after that because I was suddenly known by a lot of people who were very different from me and expected something from me I couldn't deliver because I was only just coming out of lonely shell and didn't know shit and said shit as a result. But that also put me in contact with people who told me what's what and not only did I become more informed I also gained some friends.
Today I am at a level I am comfortable with. I have few close friends but that's all I need, and more people I can just meet up with a few times a year and have a good time with, not to mention a more moderate following on the Internet who stayed with me through my meltdowns and (continued) development who I feel less overwhelmed by.
So if you feel lonely or like life is going nowhere, next time you get the chance to go bird watching or someone suggest you come visit their knitting club even though you don't knit, give it a go. You might not like it and then you can just go home, but you might also like it. Or you might like it but get on a crazy roller coaster ride and suddenly find yourself living in a different country.